Inferno!

Inferno! – Attempt 1, Part 8

Aussiesmurf

aid188888-728px-ninja-fight-step-07In words that I’m sure, after that cliffhanger, will pull the audience in, the book tells me that ‘the stairs stop in a great dimly lit hallway of dressed stone’.

Feeling like a cosplayer at a Renaissance fair, I (with my stout companions) keep moving forward, noting the statues to my (our) left that depict former Rulers of the Rift.  I assume these include caricatures of various spiders, Tories, lizards, rugby players, demons and other figures who may have been prominent in the religion of astrology.

There is now a choice between the wide passage through the ‘Way of Thrones’ and another narrow passageway.  The mere fact that these four stooges seem to wish to travel along the ‘Way of Thrones’ makes this decision clear.

Aside : Interesting that the ‘Way of Thrones’ is prominent on a night where I just watched the finale of Game of Thrones season 6.  Holy FSM that was awesome!!!

Game of Thrones SPOILERS

 

 

 

R+L=J, if you know what I mean!

 

 

 

 

Game of Thrones SPOILERS OFF

 

We carry down the narrow way in a straight line for hundreds of meters, until the floor tilts suddenly, we all have flashes of Luna Park funhouses, and we are pitched forward into a well-lift room, seemingly hung with lush tapestries.

Aside : The fact that, in the middle of the Rift and surrounded by enemies, Avenger notices the quality of the tapestries, goes towards both his taste and also his self-possession in a crisis.

We now confront Tyutchev, Cassandra and Thaum, who have clearly been waiting for us. The reason that they knew we would be in this room at this time can be chalked up to that thoroughly corrupt villain known as ‘Plot Device’.  Or as the book puts it “they must have guessed that you would come this way”.

Ooookay.

Apparently, they [meaning Tyutchev and company] have ‘done well’ to penetrate so deeply into the Bowels of Orb.

Aside : Alright, just hang on one cotton-picking minute.  Firstly, there is no way my hanger-ons (incompetents) would have made it to this point if it was in any way difficult. Secondly, if Tyutchev and company are penetrating deeply (implying that they are hardly allies of the Rift residents) then why on earth would my ‘companions’ think it was a good idea to seek them here in the Rift??

The baddies (and seriously, let’s just call them that) indulge in some trash-talking, stating essentially that they are (collectively) better fighters and wizards than my mates.  (Yes, for the purpose of this interaction, they are my mates.  Don’t judge me.)

In any event, it is clear that the battle royal is about to begin.

Given that I previously (Book 2) fought these noobs to a draw single-handed, my four allies make me…..actually quite worried, given their track record.

Thaum (the wizard) starts making patterns with his fingers in the air, while Tyutchev and Cassandra stare at the wall.  Even if I hadn’t guessed correctly on my first play of this book in the 80s, it would be completely obvious that I should also look away, so I do so.

And there is a burst of blinding light….

 

Stats: Endurance : 20, Punch Modifier : +2, Kick Modifier: +3, Throw Modifier : 0, Fate Modifier : +1, Inner Force : 5

Number of dice rolls in this entire book so far : 0

20 thoughts on “Inferno! – Attempt 1, Part 8”

  1. Astrology is not a religion. It is a science. Mock what you dont understand. You forgot to include union bosses, Greens Voters and Hawthorn supporters in that “eclectic” mix

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  2. LGHR!! – They are some initials I recognise! Firstly, thanks for following this saga again! Secondly, when you playthrough a gamebook of your own, you can mock left-wing politics! Thirdly, don’t go Hawthorn supporters – that’s crossing the line!! “We love our club, and we play to win….”

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  3. “Science is the study of reproducible results, anything else is Magic or Religion’ (From Pluribus by Michael Kurland).

    No mention of any of the statues of former Rift rulers looking like Donald Trump??? Becoming Overlord must be slowly turning you right wing. Also i fear that Avenger noticing the quality of the tapestries may confirm that he is actually a she.

    More seriously.

    How did the Chaosbringers know where you’d be? The book does mention that while the higher levels are more open the lower you get the more the routes are funnelled for defense against serious invasion attempts. From a practical point of view its easier to defend a few main routes than have dozens of minor routes all of which have to be guarded. As Dore and Glaivas would have entered the part of the Rift closest to Irsmuncast you’d be expected to do the same. Now how far away the next entrance to the fourth tier is is not said, from the size of the Rift it could easily be over a hundred miles away. Therefore whatever entrance you used to get into the rift over a 20 to 30 mile area at the top (over a day’s journey of options on the surface) you’d be funneled down to this one location. If they’d tried meeting you higher up then that would have been ridiculous, but it did fit in with what else was said.

    How did the Marx Brothers know where to find the Chaosbringers? Well, aside from the likely chance that they boasted what they were going to do in the pub and someone squealed (quite likely actually) its mentioned in Redeemer (by that wonderful erudite and knowledgable David Walters) that they also know some kind of Divination spell (magic equivalent of Sat Nav). This is an 80’s D&D world after all. (Personally I prefer plain old detective work to magical intervention, but remember how you found out where Yaemon was going in Avenger by going to visit a mad monk in a cave in the mountains. The other way you could find out would be by talking to a whimsical bloke in a pub).

    The Chaosbringers also have a better understanding this time of how you fight so are in a better position to whip your butt. Give em hell brother!!!

    BTW, if you had Foxglove with you this coming fight would have moments of potentially tragic farce. And I’m not keeping a straight face when I don’t judge you for calling the Marx Brothers your mates.

    The only way is Down!!!

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    1. Real Astrologers use an Ephemris which is calculated by Astronomers, who are scientists, to monitor planetary transits.

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    2. I don’t want to talk about ‘behind the curtain’ stuff too much, but I can say that with regard to my jokes, they are either running gags that try to be funny through repetition (eg. IN THE FACE, the constant ‘down’ references) or one-offs. Repeating a joke a couple of times runs the risk of falling in between these two poles and therefore simply becoming unfunny.

      So – long story short, that’s why I haven’t recycled a Donald Trump joke there.

      And there’s no chance of me becoming a right-winger – our election in Australia is on Saturday (2 July) and I will take pleasure in placing the local right-wing reactionary last on my ballot.

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    1. While its true that our esteemed author makes a worrying number of references to his stunning good looks and the admiring glances this brings him from others, the sad reality is that if he was as shallow as me he’d be bringing Foxglove with him everywhere. He doesn’t so he isn’t.

      Of course, shallowness, like depravity, does still come in shades…

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    1. If Avenger were truly irresistable, nothing would stop the admiring glances. Being unattainable would add to his mystique. Foxglove strikes me as a very discerning woman anyway, and that she would eventually find Avenger quite tiresome.

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