Now that I’ve triumphed over some napkin with delusions of grandeur, I feel like nothing can possibly stand in my way.
After spending the night in the burned ruins of a former house, I journey on through presumably peaceful woods and glades. The atmospheric sounds of birdsong dog my path.
Hopefully the birds aren’t whistling the tunes of various Spice Girls songs, because that is a psychotic break waiting to happen.
Just as I started waiting for the other shoe to drop, I come across a ‘tall and muscular’ man who doesn’t seem like he just wants to talk about the latest election polls.
This dude is seriously compensating for something – he’s got an axe, a katana and a nunchaku. He describes himself as ‘Bofu’, a glorified bandit, and asks (yeah, right) for all that I own, while his minions emerge from the background forest.
His followers also have with them a bound elderly man adorned with the symbols of Eo, the god of mercy. I am given the cheerful ultimatum of giving up all that I own or taking the ‘place’ of their hostage.
Aside : I do remember that Aiko also, when she left us, wore the garb of a follower of Eo. If this was a contemporary Michael Bay movie, I would assume that this ‘elderly man’ was actually the young woman of Aiko in disguise.
But here – I doubt it.
OK – before I even need to give serious consideration to all of the options, I note that one of said options literally suggests that I lay out all my possessions (save the flag of Lemne) and then kick Bofu TO THE FACE.
Yeah, I don’t need to think about the other choices for very long.
I lay out my sparse possessions, and then perform the (traditional) Leaping Tiger kick TO THE FACE. I remove 5 of his Endurance.
For the ‘larger’ combat I can go for the (boring) Iron Fist punch, the Forked Lightning Strike or the Teeth of the Tiger throw.
For those coming in late, or those with short memories, the ‘Teeth of the Tiger’ involves leaping up until my body is horizontal, wrapping my ankles / feet around the enemy’s neck and twisting violently.
Bring that awesomely ridiculous move on!
I need a 7 or more on two dice to successfully throw / break his neck.
[Insert 5 minute pause while I watch Mad Men and fret about this important dice roll]
Anti-climax alert – I rolled 12!
In a mixed result, Bofu flies off, stunned into the woods, and a number of his henchmen carry him away, while I give one lingerer a kick TO THE FACE to remind them of where they should be headed.
Unfortunately, one or more of these bottom-feeders have seized my remaining possessions, which included all shuriken which hadn’t already been used.
While saying various R-rated words under my breath, I do manage to untie the hostage, and he proceeds to dig up a hidden sacred item which he then gifts to me, being specifically a piece with the suitably sacred name of the ‘Orb of Eo’. I add it to my suddenly-depleted store of loot.
And by ‘suddenly-depleted’, I mean ‘nothing except my darn flag’.
I head off from the clearing where I find a cross-road, one path of which leads to….
the disreputable city of bridges!!!!
Stats : All modifiers : 0, Endurance : 20, Inner Force : 2, Shuriken : 0